Dammit Jack I miss you You've spoiled me for any other man You Yes you, stubborn and difficult you I say this with tender affection After all, I’m the hardheaded PITA What a pair You and I What a pair indeed
Dammit Jack I love you I'll always love you I've always loved you You Only you No one else can compare Believe me, I've tried You are the Gold Standard And all the others Never even came close But that’s okay Because I only want you You No more, no less
Dammit Jack I want you You Here next to me Beside me on the sofa Cuddled up next to me in bed I want to see your eyes Hear your voice Feel your touch Your arms around me Feel your kiss Your lips On my lips Dammit Jack I need you You Now Here In this moment And the next And the next
Dammit Jack... 2019 UPDATE: RIP JACK. I'll love you forever.
I believe in soul mates. Do you? If you do and you've ever been lucky enough to find yours in this lifetime, you will truly understand the depth of my feelings in this post. Not everyone is fortunate enough to find that one heart, that one soul, that one truly compatible human being that makes everything sparkle with light and joy. It's such a beautiful experience that mere words can't do it justice but for the sake of this post I will try to express it as best as I can.
A soul mate is that one person who "gets you". He (or she) understands you in ways no one else can. He has your same wacky sense of humor, your same love of all things Star Trek, is intelligent enough to discuss the physics behind the show, and funny enough to make you laugh when you're violently ill. He will open doors, cook you meals, but is man enough NOT to take your shit and call you out when you're being a moody bitch asshole. (Hey, I'm a very strong-minded woman and I can be a bit *cough* stubborn/bossy/whiny/moody/bitchy but he has been the only man in my life to call me out on it. If someone you love is telling you you're being an asshole, you're PROBABLY BEING AN ASSHOLE!) He was never mean or rude about it, but he is just man enough to say so. We're both very strong minded individuals and I totally respect that about him. A strong woman needs a strong man! I can't respect a weak man. Just can't. Like I said, he is man enough to cook me a beautiful dinner, take me camping/fishing/shooting, rub my back, and he also knows when I need to pull my head out of my ass and get a fresh perspective on things! It's so nice to have all of that in one package. (I'm not saying he's perfect, he's not, he's just perfect for me.)
I was lucky enough to meet my soul mate in 1999. Unfortunately, we were in different places mentally, socially, and professionally. We both knew we were meant to be together but after trying for several years we called it off. It was the most painful breakup I've ever experienced. Yet it truly wasn't a "breakup" because time after time we kept reaching out to one another, both hurting, both yearning, yet both knowing it still wasn't right. Now, at last, we have reconnected once again and it's as if all the pieces finally fit. It just FEELS RIGHT. I'm going to be spending a long weekend with him soon and see how things are between us. We have spoken several times a day for the past few weeks and it's as if time hadn't passed at all. We feel different as people yet the feelings of love remain. We've had time to mature and experience more of what we don't want and can now appreciate and acknowledge what we DO want...each other.
I don't know what the future holds but I do know this:
No one else has or will ever compare to him. No one else will ever measure up to him. He is the standard by which I've compared all others against.
That may not have been fair but it was how I felt in my heart. He is truly "The One" for me. If things do not work out for us this time around, I am truly done with love. He has my heart, he had it then, he has it now, and he will always have it. I sincerely want things to work out between us this time and I have a lot of positive signs that they will. I'm just saying, honestly, that if it doesn't, I am finished with love and romance. I will throw myself into my work and become the neurotic crazy cat lady who writes books and lives in a remote cabin.
I'll keep y'all informed.
Here is Etta James singing, "At Last". A true Classic.
I totally need this clock!
#writing #author #published #poetry #poems #poet
@writing @poetry
Today, I received two emails telling me that Yahoo! had accepted BOTH of the poems I submitted for publication! I am SO happy! It's a huge motivator to keep writing. Not only am I officially published, I am earning money for every visit to the site! I'm posting the links to both of my published poems and I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE it if you'd take the time to click on them and read them. Both are short and won't take much of your time.
"The Earth's Lament" is about the pain and suffering of war, as experienced by the earth. I wrote this poem a few weeks ago after visiting several battlefields in Virginia to commemorate the 150th anniversary of the Civil War. You can read it here: CLICK HERE TO READ THE EARTH'S LAMENT
"The Alchemist of Love" is about creating something out of nothing. It's about being careful what you wish for. Sometimes you can create something you THINK you want, but all it does is bring you pain and heartache later. You can read it here: CLICK HERE TO READ THE ALCHEMIST OF LOVE
This post may contain a few slightly offensive words and links to other sites that may use offensive words.
If you get offended by certain words, proceed with caution or click out.
I love to laugh. I think a sense of humor is one of the most essential elements in a partner, right next to intelligence. If you're smart, witty, and make me laugh at off-the-wall science jokes, my heart is yours. But I also enjoy lots of different types of humor.
There's the aforementioned nerd/geek stuff that gets me every time. Got a good Star Trek joke? I'll be your new best friend for life.
Saturday night and we're feeling more than "alright"? Let's tell some dirty rauchy jokes!
Hanging out with the wee ones? I can do dorky. Just not too many knock-knocks or I'll knock you out. Seriously.
My favorite kind of humor has to be sarcasm. Yes, reeeeally. :P I love a snarky comeback, or stating the obvious, or asking how in the actual *** did THAT happen?
LOL Cats. Ahhh, the kittehs. Yes, ai lubs de kittehs.
There are a few blogs and websites I like too. I thought I'd include things that make me laugh. If you go over there, tell them I sent you, and please, don't be an a$$. I love all three of these ladies!
FALLING INTO WINTER
Color
The leaves change
Die
And fall
Winter comes
Cold air whips
At the windowpanes
Hooving through the cracks
Sweaters boots
Gloves scarves and hats
Steaming mugs of coffee or chocolate
Sipped around a roaring fire
Wood chips everywhere
Scattered across the floor
Kitties doze lazily near the hearth
Safe and warm and loved
Snow
White and sparkly
Soft as cotton
Cold like ice cream
It falls all around me
Blanketing the earth
With a quilt of white beauty
Everything is silent
Hushed
Sometimes, you just know when you've got it good. Sometimes things just align and fall into place so perfectly, all you can do is sit back and count your blessings with tears of gratitude in your eyes. I've had one of those days today. I am thankful for so many things...
Such as:
A dear friend and I reconnected today.
My cat, who had been feeling bad, finally ate and drank without throwing up.
My kids texted me.
I had a few dollars extra in my bank account.
The dogs I dog-sit for were well-behaved today.
The weather was beautiful.
As I sit outside, writing this blog post, I can hear the melodious song of peep frogs, a sure indicator that Spring is here in Appalachia.
I am blessed to have a great home, a fabulous housemate, and the freedom to pursue my passions of art and writing. I may not be rich in dollars, but I am *rich* indeed.
Abundance is not always material. Abundance is having a lot of what *YOU* place value on. I love my work, my freedom, my kitteh, my home life, my friends, my time, my family, and Nature. Money, sadly, seems like it will always be necessary in our modern society. It doesn't have to define it or the way you live your life. I am and will always be a Minimalist. I have a few items I treasure but I don't attach a dollar value to my possessions. I don't seek to have the *next great thing*. I don't follow fashion. I'm me and I'm happy to be of an age where I can say, "Take it or leave it!"
Yes, A is for Abundance and I am Abundantly blessed.
I wrote a brilliant post last night which was inspired by this photograph. Somehow, between "Publishing" and "Posting" it got lost in the ether. So, now it is morning, I have fresh, hot coffee, and I'm attempting to resurrect a bit of last night's wit and genius. I may not recapture the exact phrasing, but I think I've been able to express my overall train of thought.
Life lessons and back roads.
LIFE LESSONS
I've lived in many different places over the years. Some were good, some were great, and some were downright atrocious (Arkansas comes to mind immediately!). Through it all, I've always retained my love for rural Virginia. I'm originally from the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia and if I were a Theist I'd call it "God's Country". For various reasons, I've moved away and come back home several times in my adult life. I've never really been happy living anywhere else but here (Boston was a close second.). Each time I moved somewhere outside of Virginia, I felt extreme homesickness. At first I thought it was just an adjustment period. When it didn't pass, I knew deep in my heart that I was longing to be home again. I'd move home and be oh so happy, then fall into complacency and begin to take everything for granted. Life would happen and I'd find a new adventure to carry me away again. The last time I went on a "Grand Life Adventure" was 2009. I won't get into the details here and now (maybe another day) but I will say that I moved from a rural area of the Shenandoah Valley to the suburbs of Little Rock, Arkansas. Ugh. I had lived in the mid-west back in the late 80s up in Kansas City and HATED IT. Perhaps time erases some of those memories or perhaps I was just blinded by love. Whatever the case, I KNEW BETTER and did it anyway. I had multiple alarm bells going off in my head but I pushed them aside, buried them, and continued on in my blind pursuits. While I was in Arkansas, I was happy for the first three months and miserable for the last 14 months. When the relationship tanked, I became insanely homesick. I cried buckets of tears of Virginia. It was so bad that when I watched Virginia Tech college football, I'd gaze at the screen hoping and waiting for the camera to pan up for a shot of the mountains. I'd watch YouTube videos see video here of the Valley and break down sobbing. I knew then that it was time to go home. I'd taken for granted all the wonderful beautiful things I had grown to love about my home. The changing of the seasons, the friendliness of the people, the local markets and shops, the smell of the earth after it rained, snow, winter, see video here wood stoves, history, the mountains. All these things made me immensely happy and I didn't realize how much they truly meant to me.
While I was in Arkansas, one of my hobbies was doing my family genealogy. I got very involved in it and enjoyed looking up my heritage. I learned a lot about both sides of my family. I was sad because I wanted to go to all the places where my family had lived, loved, and died. I found out we even have our own mountain and cemetery in West Virginia. (Scott Mountain if ya must know.)
So now that I'm home, I've vowed to appreciate everything around me and to NEVER take anything about Virginia, or my life, for granted ever again. Also, I've promised to always be true to myself. I will never compromise who I am, what I believe, how I feel, or the way I dress, talk, worship, or vote.
I try to view everything in life as a learning experience and to take life lessons from each event. The lessons I learned while living in Arkansas were as follows:
1. Never EVER ignore your intuition. If you hear warning bells, STOP. Think. Re-evaluate.
2. Never compromise who you are for ANYONE. It's akin to selling your soul. Actually, that's just what it is.
3. Treasure your home, your ancestry, your customs, your traditions. Be proud of who you are and where you come from. (I fought this for many years but I am now proud to say I am a Daughter of Appalachia! More on that later, perhaps its own blog post?)
4. Speak your mind. You don't have to be hateful or rude, but always be honest. Don't suppress things that hurt you or bother you. If you're unhappy, say so. I wasted too much time trying to pretend I was happy when I knew I wasn't.
5. Family is everything. Love them and cherish them while they are here.
6. Take NOTHING for granted. Ever. I mean NEVER.
BACK ROADS
Back roads are like the veins that carry my life blood. Back roads represent everything that is pure and good and honest. Back roads are my Broadway, my Beale Street, my Ventura Boulevard. There is kindness to be found on a back road. There's a spiritual connection with Nature to be found on a back road.
Imagine you're walking down a country lane. It has recently rained and there's a nice breeze blowing. The wildflowers on the sides of the road sway in the wind. The flowers are an explosion of yellow, purple, blue, and fuchsia. You can smell the rich aroma of dark damp earth. A butterfly flutters in front of you. Birds sing in nearby trees. The sun comes out and caresses your face. The gravels crunch with each step you take. Are you there? Can you feel it? These are things that move my soul.
Whenever I'm faced with a choice of taking the Interstate or taking a back road, I will choose the back road every time.
So today, I challenge you: Take a detour. Go smell the flowers, literally. Find your own back road and savor it.
