I believe in soul mates. Do you? If you do and you've ever been lucky enough to find yours in this lifetime, you will truly understand the depth of my feelings in this post. Not everyone is fortunate enough to find that one heart, that one soul, that one truly compatible human being that makes everything sparkle with light and joy. It's such a beautiful experience that mere words can't do it justice but for the sake of this post I will try to express it as best as I can.
A soul mate is that one person who "gets you". He (or she) understands you in ways no one else can. He has your same wacky sense of humor, your same love of all things Star Trek, is intelligent enough to discuss the physics behind the show, and funny enough to make you laugh when you're violently ill. He will open doors, cook you meals, but is man enough NOT to take your shit and call you out when you're being a moody bitch asshole. (Hey, I'm a very strong-minded woman and I can be a bit *cough* stubborn/bossy/whiny/moody/bitchy but he has been the only man in my life to call me out on it. If someone you love is telling you you're being an asshole, you're PROBABLY BEING AN ASSHOLE!) He was never mean or rude about it, but he is just man enough to say so. We're both very strong minded individuals and I totally respect that about him. A strong woman needs a strong man! I can't respect a weak man. Just can't. Like I said, he is man enough to cook me a beautiful dinner, take me camping/fishing/shooting, rub my back, and he also knows when I need to pull my head out of my ass and get a fresh perspective on things! It's so nice to have all of that in one package. (I'm not saying he's perfect, he's not, he's just perfect for me.)
I was lucky enough to meet my soul mate in 1999. Unfortunately, we were in different places mentally, socially, and professionally. We both knew we were meant to be together but after trying for several years we called it off. It was the most painful breakup I've ever experienced. Yet it truly wasn't a "breakup" because time after time we kept reaching out to one another, both hurting, both yearning, yet both knowing it still wasn't right. Now, at last, we have reconnected once again and it's as if all the pieces finally fit. It just FEELS RIGHT. I'm going to be spending a long weekend with him soon and see how things are between us. We have spoken several times a day for the past few weeks and it's as if time hadn't passed at all. We feel different as people yet the feelings of love remain. We've had time to mature and experience more of what we don't want and can now appreciate and acknowledge what we DO want...each other.
I don't know what the future holds but I do know this:
No one else has or will ever compare to him. No one else will ever measure up to him. He is the standard by which I've compared all others against.
That may not have been fair but it was how I felt in my heart. He is truly "The One" for me. If things do not work out for us this time around, I am truly done with love. He has my heart, he had it then, he has it now, and he will always have it. I sincerely want things to work out between us this time and I have a lot of positive signs that they will. I'm just saying, honestly, that if it doesn't, I am finished with love and romance. I will throw myself into my work and become the neurotic crazy cat lady who writes books and lives in a remote cabin.
I'll keep y'all informed.
Here is Etta James singing, "At Last". A true Classic.
I am being carried, effortlessly, by an unknown man. We approach the rear of a large, shiny black trailer. The back is open but I sense it is full... of blackness. The darkness inside is somehow solid and thick. Without speaking, the unknown man tells me to envision a comfortable room. I begin to see what appears to be a television screen on the back of the trailer. We continue walking towards it, closer and closer, and I begin to panic because I think, "He is going to put me THROUGH the TV screen and into the thick dark blackness that is in the back of the trailer." He "tells" me in my mind to hold onto the thought of a comfortable room and to BELIEVE. I somehow do and I feel us wading into the darkness, the thickness, the inky blackness. I open my eyes and he is sitting me down in a room that is identical to my mental vision. I am amazed and ask him, "Can I imagine some really comfy pillows too?" He laughs and tells my mind "Yes, you can have the pillows too." He walks away. To where, I don't know because the trailer has now become as large as a warehouse. It's as if they found a way to compress space and mass, to alter reality or at least what we perceive as real. Perhaps it's our perception that is wrong to begin with.
Another man, dressed in a dark suit, comes forward and begins "talking" with me. I hear his voice inside my head but he isn't speaking, he's transmitting! He tells me, "See, I can read your mind. Don't be afraid, you can hear me and respond to me in the same way." I form a mental response and send it out to him. Out of habit, I begin to speak the words out loud. He gently tells me, "There's no need for that anymore. It's so much quicker to do it this way." I agree with him and then I am alone in the room of my imagination...
I totally need this clock!
#writing #author #published #poetry #poems #poet
@writing @poetry
Today, I received two emails telling me that Yahoo! had accepted BOTH of the poems I submitted for publication! I am SO happy! It's a huge motivator to keep writing. Not only am I officially published, I am earning money for every visit to the site! I'm posting the links to both of my published poems and I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE it if you'd take the time to click on them and read them. Both are short and won't take much of your time.
"The Earth's Lament" is about the pain and suffering of war, as experienced by the earth. I wrote this poem a few weeks ago after visiting several battlefields in Virginia to commemorate the 150th anniversary of the Civil War. You can read it here: CLICK HERE TO READ THE EARTH'S LAMENT
"The Alchemist of Love" is about creating something out of nothing. It's about being careful what you wish for. Sometimes you can create something you THINK you want, but all it does is bring you pain and heartache later. You can read it here: CLICK HERE TO READ THE ALCHEMIST OF LOVE
Normal is subjective. Normal is relative. Normal is something I hope I'll NEVER be. Normal is one of the worst names you can call me. To me, normal is boring, conformist, and un-original. It's everything I AM NOT.
Some people spend thousands of dollars and countless hours of their time trying to be normal. They want to feel normal and look normal. They want to be a carbon copy, cookie cutter image of everyone else.
WHY?
There is beauty in being unique-in being YOU. Why strive to be something you're not? Why do so many people want to be an artificial dress up doll in a society of cutouts?
There is truth in honoring how you feel and what you believe in. There is freedom and joy in following your own path. I refuse to get in that line of sheeple, those "yes men" and head-nodders. I will not wear what mass media spews over the airwaves. I will not agree with the masses and hold my tongue when everything in my soul screams, "NO, that's a LIE!"
These are excerpts from something I recently wrote:
"I'm not your pearl clutcher,
not your Stepford Wife...
Mack is my cat, my companion, and my best friend. I've had him for over eight years. I adopted him when he was four weeks old and I fed him goat's milk from an eyedropper until he was big enough to drink from a bowl. I litter trained him when he was very small and he's NEVER had an accident, ever. He is very smart and we are extremely close. He's been there for me through good times and bad. He knows all my secrets and has licked away many tears. He sleeps beside me every night. I love him with all my heart. We have a special bond and I'm thankful he has stayed with me all these years. He's truly a special soul.
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